Between you and God
by Juliss the Severed Snake
Summary: After his somewhat unexpected survival of the Cowpens mess Col.Tavington takes the job ofminister in Pembroke's rebuilt church. The question is, how long will his patience last?


Tavy.html
    
    **"Between You and God..."**
    
    ** by**
    
    ** Morgan Megan**
    
    ****
    
    ** Script for the movie "Patriot-2001 or Free Willy -1780".**
    
    ****
    
    ** -You will burn in the Hell.**
    
    ** And I am the first to take care about this!**
    
    ** "Highlander-1", imprecise quotation**
    
    ****
    
    ** Draco Dormiens Nunquam Tittilandus-**
    
    ** Or Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragoon.**
    
    ** "Harry Potter", free translation**
    
    ****
    
    **Well, the idea of this fable is taken from HP fanfiction stories,**
    
    **the principal characters are from "The Patriot" and the main**
    
    **story line is from "Snow-white: winter uniforms for special group**
    
    **"Edelweiss". Have fun!**
    
    ****
    
    **Short introduction.**
    
    ****
    
    **After his infamous Cowpens adventure our lovely hero was rescued**
    
    **from the battlefield by nuns from St Cassildas's convent (to**
    
    **their great rapture) and nursed back to health within its holy**
    
    **walls. It somehow affected the mental state of the noble Colonel.**
    
    **Much moved by the last events, he suffered the religious**
    
    **revelation, was initiated into the priesthood and took the name**
    
    **of Father William. Several months later the remaining citizens of**
    
    **Pembroke have rebuilt their burned church, and the ex-Colonel**
    
    **(now modestly called "Priest") has taken the job of local**
    
    **minister. So, how does it go?**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [with a serene smile from behind the wall of the**
    
    **confessional]: Tell me your sins, children, and you will be**
    
    **forgiven!**
    
    ****
    
    **[Benjamin Martin enters the chapel.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [taking a deep breath and counting to ten]: I can believe**
    
    **it... So what is your sin, my son?**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin: I cheated Lord Cornwallis.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: And how did you cheat him?**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin: Well, I said I came to get my captured men...**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: And?**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin: Truthfully, I came to steal his rocking chair. But it's**
    
    **not all...**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: Proceed!**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin: I killed my own brother.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: Well, I can believe it...**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin [continuing]: His name was William Tavington.**
    
    ****
    
    **[Gurgling noise from behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin [continuing]: Well, it's kind of a long and sad story.**
    
    **Thirty-seven years ago Tavington's Mother, Lady Beatrice, came to**
    
    **visit her relatives in Charleston, and my father was a young,**
    
    **dashing officer in his Majesty's service... You get the**
    
    **picture...**
    
    ****
    
    **[Noise, as if somebody is violently sick, from behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin [continuing]: So she kept the secret, but before her death**
    
    **she sent a letter to my father and begged him to take care of her**
    
    **little abandoned son. See how I have sinned.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [taking a deep breath and counting to ten]: Indeed...**
    
    **Next, please.**
    
    ****
    
    **[Martin retreats, and a young and somehow frivolously dressed**
    
    **woman enters the church. She carries a baby and leads a little**
    
    **girl by the hand. It's Aunt Charlotte.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Charlotte: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [in a rather sweet voice]: Tell me about your sins, my**
    
    **daughter.**
    
    ****
    
    **Charlotte: I married without love. As the matter of fact, I hate**
    
    **my husband, Benjamin Martin, and I'm going to poison him.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [happily]: Very good... I mean it's very good that you**
    
    **confessed your corrupt thoughts.**
    
    ****
    
    **Charlotte [continuing, in a trembling voice]: Yes, because I'm in**
    
    **love with William Tavington.**
    
    ****
    
    **[Gurgling noises come from behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Charlotte [continuing, with a sigh]: And this beastly husband of**
    
    **mine killed him. But I have one consolation...**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [cautiously]: What consolation?**
    
    ****
    
    **Charlotte: My son, whom Benjamin believes is his son, isn't his.**
    
    **He's Tavington's.**
    
    ****
    
    **[Noise, as if somebody is violently sick, behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Charlotte [sobbing]: He got his father's marvelous ice-cold blue**
    
    **eyes. Oh, my love, my soul, my poor fallen warrior! [She falls**
    
    **into hysterics and is taken away by benevolent spectators.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [spitting bitterly onto the floor]: Damn, my eyes are**
    
    **gray, aren't they?**
    
    ****
    
    **Little girl [dumb till now]: Bless me, Reverend, for I have**
    
    **sinned...**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin [till now, hiding in the dark corner]: Susan, you speak!**
    
    **At last! After 30 long years! One word, just one word, that's all**
    
    **I want!**
    
    ****
    
    **Susan [infuriated]: I'm not talking to you, you scum, you**
    
    **bastard! Shut up!**
    
    ****
    
    **Martin [blissfully]: Gad, how well she speaks!**
    
    ****
    
    **[The approach of Lord Cornwallis interrupts the tender scene.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Cornwallis: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: I can believe it. So what is your sin?**
    
    ****
    
    **Cornwallis: I was very unfair to the best, the noblest young**
    
    **officer on my service.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [touched to tears]: Well, and his name was...?**
    
    ****
    
    **Cornwallis: Major Patrick Ferguson.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [very disappointed]: Is it all?**
    
    ****
    
    **Cornwallis: No. Thirty-seven years ago...**
    
    ****
    
    **[Gurgling noise from behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Cornwallis [continuing]: I was in Charleston on his Majesty**
    
    **service affairs, and Lady Beatrice Tavington was there, too. So**
    
    **we... How can I say this...? She kept the secret, but before her**
    
    **death she sent me a letter and begged me to take care of her**
    
    **little abandoned son, William...Who was actually my son...**
    
    ****
    
    **[Noise, as if somebody is violently sick, from behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **[Lord Cornwallis goes out, and a young, dashing cavalry officer,**
    
    **dressed in a green jacket with black facings, appears.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Officer: Bless me, Father...**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [in a rather stiff voice]: Don't utter that word in my**
    
    **presence!**
    
    ****
    
    **Officer [carelessly]: Well then, bless me, Mother.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [in irritation]: First of all, who are you?**
    
    ****
    
    **Officer [indignantly]: Lieut. Colonel Banastre Tarleton, of**
    
    **course.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: Well?**
    
    ****
    
    **Tarleton: Look, I have sinned. I underfed my stallion, and I**
    
    **forgot to send a letter to my dear little sister Bridget back in**
    
    **England.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [with a yawn]: That's boring. You're the famous "Bloody**
    
    **Ban the Butcher". Can't you come up with something more**
    
    **interesting than that?**
    
    ****
    
    **Tarleton: Well, I impersonated George Washington...**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [sulkily]: William Washington...**
    
    ****
    
    **Tarleton [clapping his arm to his forehead]: Yes, William**
    
    **Tavington, I impersonated him too! I mean, merry Aunt Charly here**
    
    **believes that her son is Tavington's...**
    
    ****
    
    **[Gurgling noise from behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Tarleton [continuing]: But actually he's mine.**
    
    ****
    
    **[Sigh of relief from behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Tarleton [continuing]: Yeah, because we are so alike, I mean me**
    
    **and Will, it was easy to deceive her.**
    
    ****
    
    **[Noise, as if somebody is violently sick, behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Tarleton [continuing thoughtfully]: Only he's a foot taller than**
    
    **I am, and ten years my senior, and has dark hair, and there's**
    
    **this problem with the color of his uniform...**
    
    ****
    
    **[A red-faced, wheezing man appears on the stage, pushing Tarleton**
    
    **aside.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Tarleton: Excuse me, dear sir...**
    
    ****
    
    **Man [kneeling in front of the confessional and panting]: Bless**
    
    **me, father, for I'm hurrying!**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [wearily]: Who are you, man?**
    
    ****
    
    **Man: Roland Emmerich, movie director. You obviously knows my**
    
    **immortal works such as "Godzilla" and "King-Kong" and "Rampaging**
    
    **Green Dragon"...or was it "Dragoon"?...**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [with irritation]: So what is your sin?**
    
    ****
    
    **Emmerich: Well, I stole the Green Dragoon uniforms intended for**
    
    **"The Patriot", and sold them to the local "Green Peace"**
    
    **committee. They wanted the lot for their demonstration in**
    
    **Brooklin. It was some bargain, you know! So that's why the**
    
    **British dragoons were played in red, poor devils!**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [wearily]: And?**
    
    ****
    
    **Emmerich: And I said Tavington's character was suggested by**
    
    **Banastre Tarleton, but actually I lied.**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [faintly]: Not Tarleton?**
    
    ****
    
    **Emmerich: No. In fact, it was a really accurate impersonation of**
    
    **my roommate back in college. A very unsociable young man, who**
    
    **ended up burning the school church. I reckon he's now in a**
    
    **hospital for incurable mental criminals.**
    
    ****
    
    **[Priest groans and closes his eyes ]**
    
    ****
    
    **[A gentle knocking and coughing halts his meditation several**
    
    **minutes later.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [opening his eyes and choking]: Mother...I mean,**
    
    **daughter... What are you doing here?**
    
    ****
    
    **Beatrice Tavington: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned!**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: Yes, I can believe it. So what is your sin?**
    
    ****
    
    **Beatrice: My son, William...Actually, he's not my son...**
    
    ****
    
    **[Gurgling noise from behind the wall.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Beatrice [continuing]: He's my daughter.**
    
    ****
    
    **[Priest faints ]**
    
    ****
    
    **[A vision in the form of a golden-curled young man appears at the**
    
    **doors.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [raising his head and staring at the vision]: Hey, didn't**
    
    **you die?**
    
    ****
    
    **Gabriel: Reverend, with your permission I'd like to make an**
    
    **announcement... The budget of our movie was cut, and Aunt**
    
    **Charlotte ran off with whole crew of camera-men and...**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: Young man, this is a house of God! We are here to pray**
    
    **for the souls of those men whom I... I mean, those men who were**
    
    **hanged outside!** Now, stop your desecration! Get out of here!**
    
    **------**
    
    **** Author's remark: A pity the honest citizens of Pembroke didn't**
    
    **bother to take them off the tree. I think, those poor wretches**
    
    **are still dangling there.]**
    
    **-------**
    
    ****
    
    **[The priest recites the formula of exorcism. The outline of the**
    
    **golden-curled youth quivers, and is replaced by a red-haired,**
    
    **gawky young man of about 20, who is sobbing.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [taking a deep breath and counting to ten]: And who are**
    
    **you?**
    
    ****
    
    **Young man [whimpering]: The author of this crap-- *wail.***
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: But why are you crying?**
    
    ****
    
    **Author [howling]: I...de..desecrated the me... [hiccoughing]...**
    
    **the memory of a noble warrior... [sneezing] who fell...in**
    
    **glory... Oh, how could I?... So splendid...[sobbing], so**
    
    **meritorious...**
    
    ****
    
    **[Priest swaggers from the confessional and pats a young man on**
    
    **the shoulder.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: Don't grieve so much, I'm alive!**
    
    ****
    
    **Author [crying out]: So very dignified...So valiant... He's dead**
    
    **now, and I...**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [handing him his handkerchief]: Hey, are you deaf? I'm**
    
    **alive!**
    
    ****
    
    **Author [wailing on the top of his lungs]: Dead! Oh, my hero! He's**
    
    **dead! I can't believe it, but it's true!**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest [losing his temper]: Alive!**
    
    ****
    
    **Author [moaning]: Dead! O the loss! I simply cannot bear it...**
    
    ****
    
    **[Priest growls in irritation and tears his robes into pieces. A**
    
    **strange green/red Dragoon uniform becomes visible.]**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: You see now?**
    
    ****
    
    **Author [howling like a wounded bulldog]: A mere corpse. Just**
    
    **bones and epaulettes...**
    
    ****
    
    **Priest: That's enough!**
    
    ****
    
    **[Priest turns to the church's doors, his face contorted with**
    
    **rage. All of the confessors huddle in the corner, terrified. At**
    
    **the doors appears a tall officer in the same strange uniform,**
    
    **leading a bay horse by the reins. It's Captain Wilkins (the man,**
    
    **not the horse!)]**
    
    ****
    
    **Wilkins [with enthusiasm in his voice, jumping on his toes]: I**
    
    **think it's time to burn something! I think it's time to burn the**
    
    **church!!!**
    
    ****
    
    **Tavington [smiling, mounts the horse and puts on his helmet]:**
    
    **Shut the doors!**
    
    ****
    
    **Emmerich: But, Father, you said we'd be forgiven!**
    
    ****
    
    **Tavington: And indeed you may... It's between you and God... Burn**
    
    **the church, Captain!**
    
    ****
    
    **[Howls of terror.]**
    
    ****
    
    ** The End.**


End file.
